


return to love

by minabyrd



Category: Lovecraft Country (TV)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Femslash, Fluff, Romance, author desperately pouring glue and copies of 'black feminist thought' into ship's cracks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minabyrd/pseuds/minabyrd
Summary: Ruby finds gifts around the house, and considers her thoughts on the person leaving them for her.
Relationships: Christina Braithwhite/Ruby Baptiste
Comments: 41
Kudos: 240





	return to love

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from bell hooks’ _All About Love: New Visions_. the full quote is: _“To return to love, to get the love we always wanted but never had, to have the love we want but are not prepared to give, we seek romantic relationships. We believe these relationships, more than any other, will rescue and redeem us. True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.”_

The first one Ruby finds is making light dance across her ceiling.

Lifting her head, Ruby blinks sleep from her eyes and frowns as the bright spots stay in her vision. Surely, she didn’t have that much to drink last night, but she wasn't sure about what white folk snuck into their overpriced wine. 

A glint of silver catches her eye, and she turns to see a gleaming butterfly on the nightstand. Multi-colored jewels adorn its wings, creating the patterns of light on her ceiling from the morning sunlight streaming in. It’s silver body rests on a matching platter, positioned delicately so that the sculpture can spin in place. It’s gently turning in the faint breeze coming from the half-open window.

Ruby is almost hypnotized by the movement. Slowly, she reaches out a hand to brush an ornate wing, and the butterfly’s dance increases at the touch. 

Shifting to rest on an arm, Ruby spots a piece of parchment sitting underneath the statue. She reaches out to lift the butterfly - raising her brow at its heavy weight, true silver indeed - to bring the note up to her face.

There’s barely a sentence scrawled on the page.

_Flying uninterrupted. X_

The script is elegant, but even without the flourishes of prestigious schooling only old blood could afford, Ruby would know who its from.

She’s almost overcome with an urge to throw the butterfly across the room, relishing in the satisfying thunk she know it would make against wall. Maybe her silent housemate would even make an appearance to question the racket, to even look her in the eyes, for the first time in a week.

But the feeling passes, and she’s left with a small sense of wonder at the weight in her hands. She’s never wasted her wages on gifts, and the few men she’s ever stepped out with long enough to have time to buy gifts had barely scrounged up more than corner-shop chocolates and half-hearted grins. The craftsmanship alone in the wings would be the centerpiece of any jewelry counter.

Yet Ruby, knowing she has only the barest (if not consequential) brushes with magic, senses this wasn’t bought in any store.

She places the butterfly back on the nightstand, and sinks back into silk sheets with a sigh. Staring up at the flashes of color, she remembers whispered words in an foreign tongue, and a flock of the statue’s breathing counterparts fluttering above the room.

She also remembers the sorrow in icy blue eyes, blinking blood away when turning to face her.

Ruby had stared, unblinking, rage pulsing through her entire body. She couldn’t muster up any more words, her shock left to hang in the air.

She knew how uncomfortable the cooling blood was against skin, how it dried to leave behind a sticky, caked on-exterior that itched like hell and irritated any bare skin brushing against it. How it left an overwhelming copper tang on her tongue, so much that for hours afterwards, she had flinched every time she swallowed. How the bathwater had never quite stopped looking pink, even now.

But Christina didn’t look like she was thinking of any of that. Her eyes were pleading, desperately searching Ruby’s face for something, which Ruby couldn’t figure out.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Christina choked out, “Please,” and the hoarseness of her voice sounded like it hadn’t been used in weeks, “Stay.”

“Is that an order?” Ruby clenched her fist. If she was to be kept prisoner to hide a secret, it’s not going to be willingly.

“No, no.” Christina held up a hand, taking a step back. “I just mean, you don’t need to leave if you don’t want to.”

“I have no fucking clue what you think I want right now, but I’m gonna give you a hint that it’s a lot more than a place to sleep.”

Christina sighed heavily, closing her eyes. and Ruby can see the exhaustion weighing on her shoulders. White girl been working hard living two lives then? She had little sympathy at the moment for it.

“I promise, I will tell you anything you want to know.” Christina’s gaze was strong when looking back up at her.

“This whole time?” Ruby repeated, a frustrated whisper through clenched teeth.

“Yes.” Christina raised her chin. “Everything.”

Ruby closed her eyes, thinking of soft hands brushing a sponge against her back in the bath, a charming grin leaning down to brush her nose, a gentle weight pinning her against the stairs…

But also strong arms carrying her breaking body out of a police car, a hand carving a knife through her chest.

“And were you ever going to tell me?"

Christina set her jaw, letting the silence draw out as she looks Ruby up and down.

“I’m not sure.”

Ruby scoffed. She’s not sure if the honesty stings more or less, but she appreciates the effort. It makes her response easier.

“Fuck you,” Ruby spat out, and whirls around to walk out of this house, and back to a life that at least lied to her in expected ways.

She stopped when she feels something wet brush her wrist.

Ruby turned where she stood, staring down to see Christina’s arm outstretched, hovering above hers. Faint splotches of blood are on her wrist, where Christina’s bloody hand had grabbed it before quickly letting go.

“ _Please_ ,” Christina whispered again, her eyes full of sorrow and pleading and a hint of fear.

Holding Christina’s gaze, Ruby doesn’t know if its because she’s so tired of moving around this path month, or the loneliness she can already feel seeping in to her bones, but she finally acquiesces.

“Fine,” Ruby said, but turns away. Christina breathes out a sigh of relief, and drops her hand back to her side.

“Okay. Let me clean this off, I can tell you more - ”

But Ruby cut her off. “I can’t talk to you right now.” And she can’t. There’s barely anything coherent in her mind besides the roaring anger and betrayal, and she wants to be clear-headed for any bullshit thrown her way.

Christina swallowed. “That’s fine.” Ruby hears her slinks back towards stairs, pausing to turn. “I’ll sleep in the guest quarters. When you want to talk, knock on my door and I’ll answer all your questions.”

She left, turning the opposite direction at the top of the stairs to a room Ruby had never bothered to go into.

Ruby had gone up, hours later, stiff from standing in the dark for so long, and didn’t even glance at the door.

The butterfly was the first interaction she’s had with Christina since then.

Breathing in, she takes stock of her feelings. The anger still weighs heavy in her chest, but she can start forming thoughts about them at least.

When she walks down for breakfast that day, she lets herself pause look at the door. She swears she sees a shadow move in the gap underneath, and a faint shuffling of fabric.

 _Not yet_ , she thinks, and keeps walking.

— — —

The second one Ruby finds is a flower.

Or rather, a bouquet of flowers, she smells filling the room with a sweet floral scent that feels like the height of spring.

Ruby is still half-dozing, soaking up the full experience for a few glorious minutes before her conscious brain forces her to reflect on the situation and all its strings. Like feeling guilty about being able to lazily stretch out all her limbs without ever reaching an edge of the bed, or the seemingly endless rotation of pillows she could tuck around her.

It’s after a long, luxurious stretch, that her hand brushes against something cold.

Opening her eyes, Ruby wonders if she’s been magicked into a florist’s shop.

The room is a visual smorgasbord of color. Bouquets of every size and shape fill the space, in vases that Ruby can tell are worth more than her yearly salary. Bright sunflowers sit between freshly bloomed lilies, flocks of orchids are tucked between matching lilacs, and weeping snapdragons are flanked by two proud birds of paradise. There are even towering ferns and baby palms in the corners of the room.

Sitting on her nightstand is a single bouquet of blood-red roses in a turquoise vase, the silver butterfly dancing next to it. Ruby hasn’t fully accepted it as her own possession, but didn’t have the heart to remove it. She was already sleeping in a room full of things that weren’t hers, and damningly soft sheets she now dreams of affording.

Ruby moves her hand against a rose again and gasps. This bouquet isn’t real, but upon closer inspection, cut glass. Except the individual pieces of glass are so small they couldn’t possibly be cut by hand. Ruby barely feels an edge on the roses, almost smooth enough to be one full piece. Even the stems have glass thorns, yet these are sharp enough to bite at her fingers.

Another piece of parchment catches her eye, a short sentence written in the same hand as the first note.

_In the heights of winter, your voice could coax anything to bloom. X_

Ruby remembers the flower in her hair that night at the bar, being greeted with pitiful scattered applause but then icy blue eyes staring at her with anything but ignorance, and smiles softly to herself.

She also remembers one night when Leti had dragged herself back to her apartment, one of the first times when it was still new to see her grinning softly on her steps, and brought her nothing but a half-crushed handful of wildflowers. Leti had thrown them into her pitcher, and they had to drink orange juice from the carton the whole week she was there.

“You’re working too hard, Rubes.” Leti had said, gesturing to the half-empty apartment, while they dry dishes. “You need a man to freshen up this place.”

“I don’t need a man, I need a raise.” Ruby had shot back. “Or, you could start paying for your big mouth.”

Leti had playfully slapped at her own stomach. “I’m a growing girl! I need plenty of energy to get back on my feet and start my career.”

“That might work if you haven’t been the same height since you were thirteen,” Ruby laughed, and dodged a hit with a towel.

“Don’t worry Ruby, in a couple months, I’ll give you enough money to fill this place with enough knick knacks to start your own side hustle running an antique store.” Leti hummed.

Of course, she hadn’t seen Leti again for almost a year and a half, and that was after she had moved to an even barer place, and traded turns with Marvin scrouging up enough to wire Leti rent money.

Sighing, Ruby places the note in the drawer, on top of the first one. Another thing Ruby hadn’t felt up to throwing away, but the she hadn’t wanted to see the script staring at her.

For now, she just wants to relish in not being able to see any empty space.

— — —

The third one is a satin-wrapped box adorned with a complex bow.

It sits in the middle of her bed when she gets home one night after watching Diana. Hippolyta had asked Ruby to stop by to fix a couple meals and help with homework, when she was taking short day trips for the guide. Ruby was honestly glad for some time away.

Ruby tries to take her time undressing. She sits at the dresser, removing her earrings at wiping off her makeup. But she keeps glancing at the box in the mirror.

Finally, she can’t take it anymore and hops on the bed, pulling at the wrapping. The bow unweaves in one easy tug, pooling into a stream of satin.

Ruby lifts the lid and gasps lightly at the glittering red shimmering back up at her.

A dress is neatly folded in the box, waves of fabric just a touch lighter than blood (a shade she’s now achingly familiar with). She reaches down to touch the dress and marvels in how soft it feels, almost brushing water.

When Ruby lifts the dress, light catches on something stitched in. She unfolds it fully to see embroidered phoenixes flying across the hip, up to the opposite shoulder. Turning the dress, Ruby sees the rest of the flock continue back behind to the hem.

Each phoenix looks hand-stitched, but the most impressive part are the tiny rubies embedded within their feathers, that seem to hold the caught light inside of them in a warm glow.

Ruby tears off her clothes to slip on the dress. She’s never been more thankful for the full-length mirror propped against the door so she can stand and stare at how perfectly the dress wraps against her skin. The cut highlights every curve of her body and reveals just enough to tease what’s underneath. Even the fabric feels impossibly light against her body, as if she’s wearing nothing but a nightslip.

Turning to stare at herself from every angle, she sees a piece of parchment on the floor, that must have slipped out of the fabric. She bends over to pick it up (and marvels at how the dress somehow leaves room for a full range of unimpeded motion), to read the note.

_A real gift this time with your name all over it. X_

Ruby takes the dress out dancing that night. Her friends whoop and holler when she walks in the bar, fawning over the dress.

“Where did you fish up a man to get you something like this?” one asks, and Ruby, flushed red and warm on whiskey, almost spills it all then. But she just gives a teasing wink and shrug, and lets herself get lost in the music and lights.

As perfect as the dress is on her skin, it still feels like something is missing against her. She catches herself more than once glancing down the bar, looking for a glimpse of blonde. And she ignores how she’s not sure if she wants it to be attached to a tailored suit and a roguish smile, or tiny shoulders and a frighteningly honest expression.

When she stumbles up the path to the townhouse that night, trying to stay silent and unseen from curious white neighborly eyes, she notices a light on in the window down from hers. The curtains shift, and she catches a glimpse of a small figure against the glass, before it walks away and the light switches off.

Ruby lets herself hold the selfish thought that she was seen. That if the dress looked ethereal while being made, that it looks like the heavens themselves wrapping sunlight against her skin.

She remembers when she was young, the unfettered joy of being able to walk into the department store, seeing how elegant the mannequins made the dresses look. Of the warm voices of the attendants, fawning over how good her mama looked in waves of chiffon, and a sleek waist. Her favorite times were when the women at the store would find matching fabrics and colors in children’s sizes, so that Ruby could walk proudly alongside her mother when they left, grinning from ear to ear.

In her dreams that night, she hears half-familiar sweet nothings whispered against her neck, a blonde figure taking their sweet time peeling her out of the dress. A hand much smaller than she remembers is right for the memory skims along her thighs, hair that’s too long tickling her shoulders. The teeth against her skin though, feel just right…

— — —

The next gift forces Ruby’s hand in a way she doesn’t think she could ever be prepared for.

“Would you be mad if I bought Marshall’s?”

In the midst of washing up her breakfast dishes (while she was living in this mansion rent-free, Ruby staunchly refused to be in any further debt), she almost drops the plate, catching it just by its golden rim.

Ruby turns, incredulous, to stare at a shuffling Christina in the doorway.

It’s the first time Ruby’s heard another voice in this house since that night, and the first real look at Christina knowing who she truly is. So it takes a few moments for the words to fully register through the cacophonous waves of emotion crashing in her head, and even then Ruby’s not quite sure what she’s heard.

“What?” she says, flatly.

Christina shifts her weight again, arms rubbing against themselves as they tuck closer to her front. “I, um, was making some inquiries and a few stores are interested in changing ownership. Marshall’s is one of them.” She pauses, chewing at her lip. “I thought I may ask first if you’re still interested in working there…?”

Ruby does drop the plate this time. It drops flat on the soapy water in the half-full sink, suds fly splash over her apron, but she doesn’t even feel the water spreading across her front.

“Christina,” Ruby brings a yellow gloved hand to pinch at the bridge of her nose. “Are you telling me that you are going to buy an entire department store?”

Christina swallows thickly. “I’m asking if you’re interested.”

“Are you telling me that you’d buy an entire department store, _just so I can get a job?_ ”

To her credit, Christina straights up to swallow every inch of nerves she had shown, and she holds Ruby’s gaze when she replies.

“Yes.”

Ruby throws off the gloves, and takes furious strides across the room, stepping right up into Christina’s space. She doesn’t step back.

“Are you fucking with me?”

“What?” Christina’s brows furrow.

“Is this a joke?” Ruby’s lips are turned up into a snarl.

Christina’s eyes widen. “No! No, Ruby this isn’t - ”

But Ruby is too angry to hear her, every bit of rage she thought had cooled flaring back to life a hundredfold.

“Is this fun for you?” Ruby hisses through clenched teeth. “Not only do you get to masquerade as some pretty white boy to fuck with my head, but keep me confused with pretty trinkets and clothes? Do you have some complex you need met? Poor little rich white girl, needing to have some semblance of control in her life by making sure the black woman knows her job, her love, her fucking skin color is held in your hand?”

“Ruby!” Christina’s sharp tone, along with a hand on her forearm, cuts through her words. Ruby finally pauses, chest heaving. Christina’s jaw is set in determination.

“This is not a game.” She over-enunciates every word, staring directly in Ruby’s eyes as she says them. “I promise.”

There’s nothing but tense silence for a minute, as Ruby stares her down, waiting for a hint of anything to show she’s being played. Nothing comes, and Christina doesn’t back down, barely blinking.

Finally, Ruby allows herself to relax a fraction, closing her eyes to even out her breaths. In between then, she feels Christina absentmindedly stroking a thumb along Ruby’s arm that she hasn’t let go of.

“I’m sorry that my question made you uncomfortable.” Christina says, and Ruby opens her eyes again to see a much softer gaze staring down at her. “I have been trying to give you space, but I wanted you to know I haven’t forgotten what I promised.”

Ruby thinks of the butterfly sitting on her nightstand, the flowers still blooming, the dress hanging in her closet. “By buying my attention?”

“No.” Christina says firmly. “I wanted you to know that my feelings haven’t changed.”

“Why?” Ruby asks.

“Why, what?” Christina frowns.

“Why do you want me to know that?

“Because Ruby,” Christina sighs, and Ruby sees the exhaustion again, embedded in her body. The week has clearly not been easy for Christina either. “I want to be clear I haven’t lied to you.”

Ruby blinks. “Really?” She says flatly. 

“While I may not have told you the full truth,“ Ruby scoffs, but Christina continues. “I have never lied to you.”

“How can I possibly believe that when the entire premise of our relationship was fake?”

“It wasn’t fake,” Christina’s tone is quieter now, and if Ruby wasn’t standing inches away from her, she might not have heard her next words. “I wasn’t lying when I said I felt magic I hadn’t felt in years.”

“Bullshit,” But the word comes out of Ruby’s mouth half-hearted.

Christina gives her a faint smile. “I’ve lived with magic my whole life, and I’ve never felt anything like I had in that moment, walking into the bar and seeing the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, filling the room with her light. I thought everyone in that bar was a fucking fool.”

Ruby is speechless. Part of her is wondering if this is another dream, because she can’t fully comprehend that she’s sitting here, in front of a white woman, who’s talking about her as if she was akin to literal magic. Which is also real.

“And then, when I had just convinced myself that it was an overreaction, that the bourbon was too strong, that I had worked far too hard for too many ears to let anything so simple as a woman to get in the way…” Christina huffs a dry laugh. “You laughed in my face and threw me in my place in three lines.”

“Demanding…” Ruby breathes, and Christina rolls her eyes.

“I wasn’t lying about that either.”

Ruby raises an eyebrow, and Christina tinges pink. Ruby tucks that information away for later.

Christina sighs. “I’m even trying to figure out another way to get at this fucking orrery.”

“Orr-what?”

Christina bites her lip. “Are you ready to her about it?”

Ruby sighs, and nods once. Christina bites her lip, and dives into the story, starting from her family background, to learning magic at her father’s feet, to her interactions with Tic and Leti.

“And your sister’s inheritance…” Christina looks most nervous about that. “Technically, that was from me.”

Ruby’s jaw tightens, but Christina cuts in quickly.

“Please know I didn’t mean you or your sister any harm!” and Christina winces at her own words. “Or, to your relationship anyway. That was before I met you. All I knew is that I needed secure access to that house to retrieve the orrery - a model of a solar system that is the secret to a hidden set of pages. But somehow, your sister not only exorcized the house, but set up a barrier so I can’t get in.”

Ruby scoffs. “That’s when you came to find me, huh?”

“Yes, but like I said,” Christina bites her lip. “Plans changed.”

Ruby stares for a few seconds, letting the information wash around her and fade away. “So say I believe you,” Ruby says, and tries not to react to the flash of excitement in Christina’s eyes. “What does it mean?”

“I want the world, Ruby.” Christina’s eyes flash with a faint sense of danger, that Ruby knows its uncovering something deep within her that she has to be wary of. But then, Christina looks up through her lashes shyly back at Ruby. “But I promised you it too. And I’m trying to best figure out how to follow through on that.

Ruby’s jaw drops. Everything in the world fades to a faint buzzing, except for Christina’s eyes and the words repeat on a loop. She’s finally hit with the full realization of what Christina has been saying.

Christina had come in ready to manipulate her. Another pawn in a game she had clearly been playing for years. Yet after one conversation, she was willing to push aside the easiest chance at achieving her lifelong dream. 

For Ruby.

Before she even fully realizes the urge in her body, Ruby finds herself leaning in. She hears a short gasp, right before she presses against Christina’s lips.

Her lips are so soft, compared to William’s. The angle is different - even though Christina is still taller than her, she’s missing a few inches to her other body. Christina is hesitant against her at first, but at the first hint of Ruby’s tongue against her lips, the kiss deepens and a hand comes up to caress Ruby’s cheek.

When Christina moans against her lips, a thrill shoots through her body and suddenly Ruby wants nothing more than to hear it again. She brings her hands up to a waist, so much smaller than what she had felt the last time she — they — did this, and delights in the hint of skin slipping out between silk shirt and pants. She feels Christina gasp against her lips at the initial touch, and push closer against her.

When she pulls back for air, Christina’s follows her lips, staring down at them with a longing gaze, before looking up at Ruby with lidded eyes. She looks punch drunk, lips flushed pink, and the barest hint of tongue peeking out between then. Ruby almost leans back in, before she realizes what just happened.

“Oh.” Ruby brings a finger up to her own lips.

Christina’s eyes widen. “Ruby, I’m so sorry - ”

“No, no,” Ruby shakes her head. “I did that.”

“You did.” Christina bites her lip. “Was that… okay?”

Ruby looks up, flitting between warming blue eyes and pink lips.

“Yeah.” she finds herself being fully honest about the feeling that had been thrumming under her skin, a smile spreads across her lips. “That was.”

Christina breathes out a laugh. “I’ve been thinking about that for a week.”

“I think I noticed.” Ruby’s smile widens.

“So…” Christina’s tone is far from subtle, but Ruby let it slide this time. “You liked the gifts?”

Ruby laughs, and pulls Christina in for another kiss, before she’s forced to go through any more new realizations.

— — —

That night, Ruby dreams of her mother.

She remembers crying into her dress, after Leti had teased her for “being all doe-eyed” over a boy in her class who had moved cross-country, leaving her with nothing to remember him but a melting valentine.

“Never forget, Ruby,” she says, hugging her tight against her front. “Love takes, but it gives in return.”

“What does that mean, mama?” Ruby had sniffled.

“It means that when you give a part of your heart to someone, you get a piece of theirs in return to put next to your own.” And Ruby had felt the rumble of her mother’s words, reverberating through her chest. “Luckily, you only have room to grow, baby. And someday, you’ll be able to find someone who can set you flying.”

Ruby had stopped crying then, and stared up into her mother’s eyes. They looked almost mirrored, staring back at her with the same expression Ruby's seen so many times after late nights wondering why she was doing it all. Because eventually, it would work out.

“Now run on and tell your sister to leave you be!”

And Ruby remembers nothing but laughing the rest of that day.

— — —

The next gift is much more tame, and this time comes with an audience.

“Look,” Leti says, wagging a fry around for emphasis. “I’m starting to think you ain’t pulling my leg, Ruby.”

Ruby nimbly dodges the ketchup flying off the end of Leti’s fry, which splatters onto Tic’s shirt as he places his tray down on the table. He just stares at Leti, but she’s busy mumbling something unintelligible to Ruby around a mouthful of burger.

“Quit talking with your mouth full.” Ruby throws a napkin at her face. “I don’t need to be picking crumbs out of this dress before my gig tonight.”

Leti glares as she swallows, washing it down with a long sip of soda. She slurps obnoxiously at the ice, before Ruby shoves at her arm to stop.

“You’re going to get us kicked out of here again, Leti.” Tic says. He takes a more reasonable-sized bite.

Leti smirks. “Back in high school? Because I seem to remember that was all you, trying to re-enact what an actual kraken attack would look like to a seaside town.”

“That was y'all?” Ruby laughs. “I remember Old Jones complaining he was wiping sauce from every wall in the building for a week!”

Tic blushes, mumbling behind his burger, “I still think I was right.”

Leti rolls her eyes, then turns back to Ruby. “That takes me back to my original point.” She leans in conspiratorially.

Ruby doesn’t like the look of Leti’s eyebrows waggling, but she knows her sister needs the theatrics of a response. “What?”

“I think your white sorceress bitch actually caught some feelings.” Leti grins.

Ruby freezes.

Leti’s eyes had damn well fallen out of her head when Ruby had finally told her about her relationship. It was in an attempt to let Christina into the house to look for the orrery herself, to convince Leti and Tic that Christina was serious about her willingness to change. Ruby was just glad her sister didn’t have a bat in her hand - if anything could push the limitations of invulnerability, it would be an angry Leti.

Christina though had huffed at the suggestion she had bewitched Ruby into this, letting Leti and Tic poke and prod at her to prove she wasn’t using any magic. She had even let Tic practice his fledgling spellwork on her, Ruby nervously watching as Tic stuttered through his own truth-seeking spell, every caught syllable in his throat a knife at her throat as he worked through the language of Adam.

She understands why Leti initially thought she was under a spell. If someone had said to her a couple months ago that she would be in this situation, she would have thought it was wilder than any book in the world. But living with daily magic and literal shapeshifting, Ruby thought that falling in love with a white woman was on the smaller scale of life-changing revelations. 

At least Leti and Tic had also been dealing with their own set of new worlds being exposed, so the timing was conducive. It still had meant for a frosty atmosphere. Leti had only just stopped throwing silverware when Christina’s back was turned, to “test for weaknesses.”

But for Leti to be walking back her hostility, and even convinced that _Christina_ was the one farthest gone in the relationship?

Leti breaks Ruby out of her thoughts with a nod towards the counter. Christina is almost pressed against the glass, watching the server pile whipped cream on her milkshake.

Tic frowns. “She didn’t get out much beyond the cult-y shit, huh?”

Ruby thinks of all the seemingly mundane fascinations Christina has, and has to agree. Yesterday, she had paused in the middle of their walk to have a serious discussion with two children selling lemonade. Ruby had to finally pull her away when she started discussing the perfect composition of sucrose to acid ratio, throwing back a couple quarters without even buying a drink.

“Honestly Ruby,” And Leti sounds almost puzzled, “When you first said it, I really thought she had y’know…” and Leti wiggles her fingers at Ruby’s face.

“Shut it.” Ruby slaps her fingers away then aims a soft punch at Leti’s side.

Leti laughs, leaning into Tic to avoid the blow. She settles back, grabbing one of his fries to chew on thoughtfully. “But really Rubes, I don't know if it's because she thinks she's better than us or because of you, cause it’s like… sometime she don’t even see the rest of us when she walks in a room.”

Ruby avoids answering by turning to see Christina looking up from gazing at her milkshake. She beams when she spots Ruby, waving and points excitedly at the maraschino cherry on the mountain of whipped cream. Ruby can’t help the smile spreading across her face at her joy, and waves once in return. 

Christina had calmed after that first kiss - and luckily did not go through with buying an entire department store - but slowly, she and Ruby were getting to a place where it was less dancing around emotions ready to flare at the drop of a hat, and more open conversations about balancing expectations and need. Somehow, all in-between learning magic. But while Ruby was enjoying learning to walk through the world with more power thrumming in her veins, she was also relishing in seeing Christina bloom with an opportunity to feel a little more comfortable as herself.

Ruby's smile drops off her face when she hears a smack from behind her, and Tic hiss, “Ouch!”

“Tic!” Leti pulls back her hand from his stomach and waves it in front of his face. “My own sister be out here lookin’ like a lovesick fool to this legit witch, a _white_ witch, and you’re just sitting here thinking about your stomach!”

“I’m trying to eat something before you finish it all!” He points to the half-empty bag of fries, and Leti rolls her eyes, shoving him playfully before grabbing another couple for good measure.

Christina sits down at open seat next to Ruby, and pushes the glass towards her. There are two bent, striped straws peaking out of the whipped cream.

“Have you had one of these?” She asks Ruby, almost bouncing with energy. "The server said they’re mostly ice cream and milk. I assume a caffiene-free alternative to coffee?”

“How much of that have you had?” Ruby asks, an eyebrow raised. 

“I finished one already, but I wanted to bring you one to try too. He said strawberry was a very popular choice for a gift.” She smiles shyly, and Ruby wants to kiss her here, damn Leti’s teasing. Christina must know it, because she leans in almost imperceptibly, before she snaps herself out of it and looks back to the drink. "I wonder why they add a cherry if it doesn't fit through the straw?" 

“The stem impresses women,” Leti says flatly. Ruby kicks her under the table. 

“Oh. Hello,” Christina nods politely at Leti and Tic, blinking at them couple times as if she didn’t recognize who else was at the table.

 _See!_ Leti mouths at Ruby. She ignores her, willing herself not to blush even deeper when taking a sip of the milkshake.

“What do you mean about the stem?” Christina asks Leti.

“Nothing!” Ruby chokes at Leti’s salicious look, and shoots her a glare that has the power of a full-scale sibling argument behind it. Leti's jaw clacks shut, but still has a mischievous glint in her eyes, and Ruby knows her sister’s not going to let her live this down. “I do like this strawberry though, thank you Christina.”

Christina beams again.

“So, how are you doing these days, Christina?” Tic asks, as Ruby and Leti continue to face off in a silent stare-off. "How far have you come with the what the pages can do?" 

“Oh right." Christina taps her chin. "The time machine.”

Leti chokes on her fry so violently, Tic flies into action, fists under her chest to force it out. After Leti inhales deeply, they all turn to stare at Christina with the same wide eyes.

Ruby finally manages to spit something out. 

“The _what?_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> please accept that christina was so frazzled about accidently falling in love that she somehow forgot to mention her main goal to anyone. lovecraft country, hire me! i can give you 100% domestic family meal fluff scenes and 0% plot monsters. 
> 
> in all seriousness, i see the title clearly applicable for both ruby and christina. for ruby, its not only what she’s missing from her mother and leti, but redemption for the work she’s put in her whole life and to find power and validation as who she is. for christina i want her to notsomuch be "redeemed", but getting to that place of being open to (re)-learning what love means through an unexpected wrench in her plan. obviously, this means im playing with christina's character in a way that makes her a little more open to positive change through love, so i've dragged her a bit aways from than the place she’s in in canon right now (stemming from on that one hide-and-seek scene). please don't take this as waiving away the actions of the literal epitome of a white feminist, just that the ‘villian soft for one person’ trope is my biggest weakness, and im taping together cardboard barriers to explore that space!
> 
> apologies for any glaring edits, i’ve been writing this nonstop for hours and am up later than i have been in ages riding this wave! wanted to share before the next ep comes out and throws us further in the air, so i hope y’all enjoy! :) p.s. is this fic blatent strawberry milkshake propaganda? yes!!!!!!!!


End file.
